My flatmate is *maybe* moving in with his girlfriend. That would leave us with an empty room. I have two other flatmates, and they both recently (roughly within a month of each other) got themselves girlfriends too. I think I wont enjoy living with those two without the other guy, he sort of made a buffer between me and their behavior that I find annoying. So I'm thinking I'll move out too if he does.
Deciding that is a bit like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, or am reading the last chapter of a book, or watching the last episode of a season. It feels like an ending. And even though I am still friends with them and will still hang out with them, it wont be the same (it may be better, as it is most of the time we see each other is just the humdrum normal times of meals/sitting around et).
Anyway, that brings me to the thought I had when I was riding to uni. "Those you love leave their mark on your personality, even if it is unacknowledged or unreturned". (This is probably inspired by the fictional work "The Tawny Man" I have been reading of late (by Robin Hobb), because the main character has a magical bond with a wolf and another man (allows them to share emotions and thoughts at times), and both of them sacrafice themselves for him, then he goes of and marries his childhood sweetheart, but he still thinks fondly of their sacrifice, hence the unacknowledged/ unreturned element of the influence of "love")
I have changed alot, living with my friends for the last two and a bit years. But only (i wish there was a word that meant somewhere between superficially and deep) ficially. The core of who I am is, was and always will be the same. (whereever i go, there i am. no matter how i change, im still me) The way i choose to approach things, is who i am and will never change. What i am willing to do, and what i enjoy, that changes, and it has by living with my flatmates.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Be Happy...
At the gaming venue where I work, I am a cashier. That means I exchange money for customers, pay out large wins on the pokie machines (in excess of 200 dollars) when a ticket is printed, serve drinks (bartender duties) and resolve any conflicts between customers.
The other night, I realised I tend to be almost a completely different person when I am working and talking to customers. I am smiling and happy every second, overly eager to get drinks and sort out all their needs, and attempt to ensure they are enjoying themselves. Very odd, because when the other workers talk to me about the customers, my usual response is "the regulars arent too bad, but mostly people who come to the pokies are no-hoper loosers with bad manners" or some other negative remark.
And I do think its roughly true, its seems overly pathetic, some of them come because the have noone to occupy time with, so the can loose hours to the machines and not feel like they are completely alone because they are unaware of the passage of time. There are others who do this, who strike me as being capable of having a socail life. I dont know why anyone who is not a drug fucked commission-housing living dero under the age of 65 goes to the pokies, and anyone over the age of 65 who still has living relatives or friends.
I wonder if I am friendly and nice because I concieve of a gaming venue as the socail equivilent of palative care. A place where those whose socail lives have died or are dying of a terminal illness linger. Like a condescension, being nice to those who dont have long to live.
I had one customer say I was really nice to everyone, even when they were being rude, and that I put up with too much. I wondered what it was that I was putting up with, after all, these people were so far beneath me that I couldnt possibly take any rudeness to heart. Hard to explain fully, but I feel like I can be nice to them despite their rudeness because I have alot more going on and they dont, so their rudeness comes from bitterness and jealousy, and so I dont have to believe it.
That being said, I do get bored, and have decided to make a nemisis for me. There is one regular customer who is very rude, and I just dont like her. She puts up a reserved sign and leaves for 45 minutes, complains if, when or if she comes back, someone else is playing it. One time she accused me of being unfair in that i gave "her" machine to someone else after she had been gone from the venue for over an hour. Then when that customer left the machine with a reserved sign on it, she came to me and said:
Her: "You have to take that of in 8 minutes, there cant be one rule for me and one rule for her, 8 minutes is the limit set by the venue".
Me: "shall i give her the same 8 minutes that you had then? i left the sign on for you for over an hour"
Her: "The law is its only allowed on for 8 minutes"
Me: "Reservation policy is outlined by the venue, but up to the discretion of the staff on duty at the time, Its my decision.."
Her: "Look, im not being rude or raising my voice, i dont appreciate you talking like that to me"
Me in my head: You may not be raising your voice but you are being rude
Me to her: "It is up to my descretion..." the customer came back so it didnt matter
Then the complainy-mc-bitcherson told my superviser i was being rude. He and i both dont like her so he was like, "Dont be rude to that fucking bitch, there i told you".
Anyway since then i have set the rules for my confrontation with her:
Immeadiately remove a reserved sign she puts up after 8 minutes.
Tell her she cannot play multiple machines if she is, and remove her reserved signs if she reserves one and starts playing another.
Humm/sing when i walk past her.
Treat her super polite and offer her coffee etc all the time (this is to throw her off guard, although she complains about the removal of the reserved signs to everyone but me so i assume she realises who it is who is doing it.)
These are the rules of the game. It makes me super happy when i can play them, for no real reason other than i have decided to. Also all of these are venue policy anyway, its just not normally so dogmatically enforced, which makes it funny imo. TREMBLE BEFORE THE WEILDING OF MY LIMITED AUTHORITY! MWHAHAHAHAHA! lol
The other night, I realised I tend to be almost a completely different person when I am working and talking to customers. I am smiling and happy every second, overly eager to get drinks and sort out all their needs, and attempt to ensure they are enjoying themselves. Very odd, because when the other workers talk to me about the customers, my usual response is "the regulars arent too bad, but mostly people who come to the pokies are no-hoper loosers with bad manners" or some other negative remark.
And I do think its roughly true, its seems overly pathetic, some of them come because the have noone to occupy time with, so the can loose hours to the machines and not feel like they are completely alone because they are unaware of the passage of time. There are others who do this, who strike me as being capable of having a socail life. I dont know why anyone who is not a drug fucked commission-housing living dero under the age of 65 goes to the pokies, and anyone over the age of 65 who still has living relatives or friends.
I wonder if I am friendly and nice because I concieve of a gaming venue as the socail equivilent of palative care. A place where those whose socail lives have died or are dying of a terminal illness linger. Like a condescension, being nice to those who dont have long to live.
I had one customer say I was really nice to everyone, even when they were being rude, and that I put up with too much. I wondered what it was that I was putting up with, after all, these people were so far beneath me that I couldnt possibly take any rudeness to heart. Hard to explain fully, but I feel like I can be nice to them despite their rudeness because I have alot more going on and they dont, so their rudeness comes from bitterness and jealousy, and so I dont have to believe it.
That being said, I do get bored, and have decided to make a nemisis for me. There is one regular customer who is very rude, and I just dont like her. She puts up a reserved sign and leaves for 45 minutes, complains if, when or if she comes back, someone else is playing it. One time she accused me of being unfair in that i gave "her" machine to someone else after she had been gone from the venue for over an hour. Then when that customer left the machine with a reserved sign on it, she came to me and said:
Her: "You have to take that of in 8 minutes, there cant be one rule for me and one rule for her, 8 minutes is the limit set by the venue".
Me: "shall i give her the same 8 minutes that you had then? i left the sign on for you for over an hour"
Her: "The law is its only allowed on for 8 minutes"
Me: "Reservation policy is outlined by the venue, but up to the discretion of the staff on duty at the time, Its my decision.."
Her: "Look, im not being rude or raising my voice, i dont appreciate you talking like that to me"
Me in my head: You may not be raising your voice but you are being rude
Me to her: "It is up to my descretion..." the customer came back so it didnt matter
Then the complainy-mc-bitcherson told my superviser i was being rude. He and i both dont like her so he was like, "Dont be rude to that fucking bitch, there i told you".
Anyway since then i have set the rules for my confrontation with her:
Immeadiately remove a reserved sign she puts up after 8 minutes.
Tell her she cannot play multiple machines if she is, and remove her reserved signs if she reserves one and starts playing another.
Humm/sing when i walk past her.
Treat her super polite and offer her coffee etc all the time (this is to throw her off guard, although she complains about the removal of the reserved signs to everyone but me so i assume she realises who it is who is doing it.)
These are the rules of the game. It makes me super happy when i can play them, for no real reason other than i have decided to. Also all of these are venue policy anyway, its just not normally so dogmatically enforced, which makes it funny imo. TREMBLE BEFORE THE WEILDING OF MY LIMITED AUTHORITY! MWHAHAHAHAHA! lol
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