My flatmate is *maybe* moving in with his girlfriend. That would leave us with an empty room. I have two other flatmates, and they both recently (roughly within a month of each other) got themselves girlfriends too. I think I wont enjoy living with those two without the other guy, he sort of made a buffer between me and their behavior that I find annoying. So I'm thinking I'll move out too if he does.
Deciding that is a bit like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, or am reading the last chapter of a book, or watching the last episode of a season. It feels like an ending. And even though I am still friends with them and will still hang out with them, it wont be the same (it may be better, as it is most of the time we see each other is just the humdrum normal times of meals/sitting around et).
Anyway, that brings me to the thought I had when I was riding to uni. "Those you love leave their mark on your personality, even if it is unacknowledged or unreturned". (This is probably inspired by the fictional work "The Tawny Man" I have been reading of late (by Robin Hobb), because the main character has a magical bond with a wolf and another man (allows them to share emotions and thoughts at times), and both of them sacrafice themselves for him, then he goes of and marries his childhood sweetheart, but he still thinks fondly of their sacrifice, hence the unacknowledged/ unreturned element of the influence of "love")
I have changed alot, living with my friends for the last two and a bit years. But only (i wish there was a word that meant somewhere between superficially and deep) ficially. The core of who I am is, was and always will be the same. (whereever i go, there i am. no matter how i change, im still me) The way i choose to approach things, is who i am and will never change. What i am willing to do, and what i enjoy, that changes, and it has by living with my flatmates.
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