Cup half full

I was trying to explain an idea i had once about why saying "I didn't choose to exsist" was sorta meaningless and I started to develop the following analogy to explain exsistance. And i like it as a christian meta-physics approach.

So when the circumstances of the begining of your life come in to fruition, you start to live, right? I.e. causality required: you cannot influence the world before you begin, therefore you cannot prevent the formation of the circumstances that give rise to your own physical body.

Say your body is like a container, and god takes part of himself, his divine essence, and fills that container with it. The essence prior to being in the container is like pure clear water, anypart of which is indistinguishable from any other, therefore which actual part is used is irrelevent, because it is homogenous. (This part is inspired by the entropy and mixing fluids (any non-homogenous fluids loose entropy to the universe when mixed, while homogenous fluids do not when mixed, essentially because homogenous fluids cannot mix, as any "part" is indistinct from any other "part") look it up for better explanation)

The divine part of yourself couldnt not choose to exist, because if it did, the circumstances that gave rise to the creation of the container still exsist, hence so does the container, so it needs to be filled, so it would be, with an indistinct alternative peice of the essence, so in the end, you exsist. I suppose this means, i consider: the configuration of the container and the fluid constitutes you (or more distinctly your personality).

Then my thoughts went on with this idea. The shape of the essence is like your personality, formed by the shape of the container etc. But during the course of your life, the divine essence is 'colored' with your experiance, and it changes the nature of the divine essence to be something distinct. Now your soul is distinct and unique, so when you die, and return to god's essence, you are no longer part of the homogenous continuity. You can be said to mix (in a psudo-bastardised-thermodynamic sence), to bring and share something new.

The shape of the container/essence being your personality was inspired by the idea that who you are is shaped by experiance and potential. Your personality MUST be influenced by your physical self, as how other people react to you is influenced by such things as pheremones/ body apperance/ gender etc. The shape of the container changes over your lifetime.

The 'coloring' of the essence (Im using a food-dye / water analogy here) is your 'emotional' self. The part of you independant of your personal history and physiological self. The shape of the container, and its interaction with other containers/things, effect how your essence is stained, but its not the shape that goes back to god. Since to get the essence, the container is broken.

I'm not explaining this well, but my conclusion was that personality is physiologically dependant. Dependant on the current configuration of the container and water.

Your body is the container (all physical).

The soul is divine essense, tainted to make it unique to the original divine essence. I.e. 'coloured' water.

My conclusion was, when your body dies, your personality dies, but your soul (which is now a uniquely tainted divine essense) can go back to god, as something new. And therefore, you should endevour to promote "positive" emotional responses in yourself, as your knowledge/history/relationships will all fade away with destruction of the container.

I may alter this post later as i work out better ways of explaining what i mean, to give better flow etc.