I was recently out at a bar and I got so many compliments it was very overwhelming. They ranged from the inocuous "cute" to "fucking hot" with some more personalised ones like nice smile, nice teeth (bit odd) etc.
This of course made me very happy at the time, although there were some compliments that were inappropriately timed, like standing in line for the bathroom, or just so forced it seemed weird.
When you get a compliment that screams fake, then you start wondering why they said it, and at least i think that i find myself not wanting to talk to that person anymore.
I read an article that tried to explain flirting, and in its section on talking, which it claimed was less then 10% of what is involved in flirting, it said there were a whole list of things to avoid: Too serious, too flippant, too slow, too fast, not enough humour, too much humour etc. I think in general it was aiming for a measured approach. But then it pointed out that compliments are always a good bet. But too many or badly timed can cause the other person to get annoyed/bored, but that this was the least offensive offense in conversation.
Im not sure I agree, strange compliments make me feel like they are just trying to blow smoke, and makes me wonder at their altearier motive. Obviously one of them would be too sleep with you, but why would they want to sleep with you unless there was some actual attraction, and if that was the case shouldnt there be some actual material for them to use as compliments? The other thing is: they want to sleep with you to rack up points, or because they are that desperate and they believe you are an achievable level. And niether of those options seem palatable.
But aside from the compliments that didnt work, i got lost that did. That was nice, but i feel like its gone to my head. I dont think i like that fact either, because I would like to believe i am a more grounded person than that, and it takes more than a few self gratifying words to win over my attention. Not that i think i was better than the people giving me compliments, i mean they were nice, but i shouldnt just be interested in someone else because they are interested/give compliments to me. It should be because they are worth being interested in also.
Anyway, compliments are nice, too many can go to your head and oddly timed/sounding ones are not great.
2 comments:
Maybe they weren't being fake, but just trying to look for something else to compliment other than the obvious, which is why it was mistimed. I read an article that said if you complimented someone on something non-traditional, you tended to be more successful. A girl who has nice legs probably gets told that so much it gets boring, and the guys who tell her that she is funny or has nice eyes would probably be more memorable.
In that case: practice makes perfect. Odd compliments need to be extra well timed and seem extra sincere. :P
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