Right where it belongs...

Is an awesome song by nine inch nails (man i wish he would come back and do another show in oz, went to his one in... was it 2009? but i think he has moved on to new projects so nine inch nails is over)

It is probably about something completely different, but to me it sounds like it is questioning the banality of modern society, about a prison built of our own desire for safety and continuity? Maybe also questioning elements of matrix-esq (the movie) or inception-esq (although i found that movie stupid, not internally consistent (such as falling in one layer means no gravity in the next, but gravity free in that level doesnt translate down to the next one?) such a spaz, also since i used to do cognitive dreaming and the "wake yourself up" trick when i had nightmares as a young teenager i dont find the premise all that interesting, despite the fact that anyone who has ever met me realises that i love thinking about/talking about dreams) of what is real and what is perception.

Its interesting to me because the other day i bothered myself: I was sitting in a bus and I felt like i might not be the stupid student preoccupied with the fake depth of theirown trivial learning, but I was a smelly, cracked, old man sitting near the front of the bus, and the music i hear, it is the sound of the people around me, living their lives. How would i know? reminded me of a dream i had once where i thought i was waking up and the reoccuring character told me "you're still dreaming, you will never wake up, and if you do, you will never know if you have, and i will always be here". The most disturbing part, the waking up/going back to sleep happened many times within the dream, and the character took the faces of a bunch of people i know, all sitting next to me on the bed i was actually asleep in, which was a holiday house, not my house, but each time i saw it, i knew it wasn't them. One point all it said was "nope, still dreaming"

I also remember that a few month ago, when i was on caffiene pills to help with tiredness, i would be walking along, and it would feel like i was playing an rpg, and that i could just do something random and it wouldnt really matter, because it would only affect my avatar, not me. Then i would get an instance where i would forget where i was, and what i was doing, why i was there, just when i was sitting or walking or in the middle of something...

Now I am somewhat concerned I may be getting too stressed about uni and dissascosiating so I can prepare myself for failing and needing to redifine who i am outside of "smart person".

By the way, i didnt proof read this because cbf, so if its hard to read, oh well.