Introvert/Extrovert

I just did an industry partner update on the project that i am doing (finally changed the paperwork to masters the other day)

The main partner was apparently pissed off about something i failed to organise properly - everyone who talks to him was telling me, both my supervisors and the other industry partners were like "oh you know how he is, he gets really angry but then he calms down"

He didnt mention it at all. I keep being told how im not living up to expected researcher material, but then he doesnt talk to me about it. Very frustrating.

Makes me wonder, can i tell what people are thinking at all?

then that made me wonder if other people can tell how im feeling easily, i would think no, i tend to be quiet and reserved, but then again alot of people think i sulk, mayb sulking is wat happens when im angry/sad/tired.

I know one store lady said i looked pissed off when i was just tired, i was a little bit melencholic cos i wanted to go out but was too tired to bother. but not angry.

mayb if you could tell how people are feeling right down to tiny detail, you coudl be very machevallian, and control your own behaviour to only illicit positive results from the others?

I dont know, im tired, i stayed up late working on industry presentation.

Am I not pretty enough, is my heart too broken?

Lyrics courtesy of a kasey chambers song... (bleh, whiny song)

Listing things that make people like you:
-being happy
-acting interested in what they have to say
-having other people want your attention
-being confident
-smiling (i like smiles)

None of these things are specific, confidence makes you attractive more than appearance, "being interested is being interesting", demand drives the price up, everyone looks better smiling, laugh and the world laughs with you cry and you cry alone.

so i went to a twenty first on saturday (i know im getting to the "too old creepy" part of goin to twenty firsts, but im friends with the guy and he invited me, i didnt drink nor hit on anyone, so i didnt do too much creepy, i think)

I tried not drinking for a change (because i was *supposed* to be goin for a 80k ride the next day that got canceled more or less before the 21st and i double checked to see if it was still on and i was told yes but really it should have been a no, grrr) i chated to some of the people i knew there, but without alcohol i felt like i didnt have much to say, although if my younger brother is anything to go by, alcohol only makes you *think* your doing small talk well.

I enjoyed myself. i made fun of my brothers friends for a bit, which as mean as that sounds is actually just how they talk to each other. I chated to a guy who had tried to talk to meet up with a friend of mine i took to the twenty first the fortnite before, he was happy/sorry to hear that he could have managed to meet up for coffee if he had been more confident in his facebook msg and actually asked to meet up, instead of just asking if she was the same person he had chatted too that night.

one of my brothers friends, who is sorta funny but a bit of a prat, we got him to say he would do a day of gay porn for 5000 dollars, which was funny, we made fun of him for the rest of the nite. he got a bit annoyed but kept comming over to chat so i dont think he took it personal.

there was a bunch of my flatmates brothers friends there who i know by sight, but when i tried to chat to them it died, and they would wander off, so now i wonder, should i do a speed friend "dating" thing to learn idle chit chat? networking is all the rage these days (with my just starting real job friends) and involves good face to face introduction/interaction. must be memorable, engaging and friendly, dont dismiss their ideas or appear bored.

But if i am bored, why cant they try to chat for a bit? I always think it seems like meeting people seems one sided, but maybe thats because i can only experiance my own side, but it seems like im the one who does the "try and find a common topic and have a random chat" thing.

I am happy that i was confident enough to mingle, i just need to do it more and ill increase my success rate.

Tired?

I'm very tired in the mornings. I have come up with the possible following scenarios:

1. I'm not sleeping enough

2. I'm sleeping too much

3. I leave my computer on all the time and the door closed so it bakes the air and there is less oxygen/bad chemicals in the air which make me have less oxygen in my blood

4. I have glandular fever

5. I have just started excersising more and my body needs more recovery than it used to

6. I've always felt this way but don't remember that fact too well

7. Not eating enough/right food for dinner so i have a blood suger low in the morning.

8. Cafeine dependance.

Likely/Unlikely

1. - not likely(-5), i get 8-10 hours most nights

2. - possible(0), but i would wake up after a bit, because the extra time sleeping makes your system slow, but activity wakes it up.

3. -not likely(-4), i don't really see this being a big problem, if it even happens, the volume of air in the room is very large, 5*2.5*3 m^3.

4. -nah(-5), i just got over a cold, i think the sore throat i had was a precursor to that, so the doctor was barking up the wrong tree

5. -possible(3), i did go gym and play squash last night

6. -somewhat possible(2), i do wonder if i should keep a diary since my memory seems shaded by my current perspective (not very objective form of record keeping)

7. -possible(2), but if this was the case, it would be similar to 6. because my habits are roughly the same as always.

8. -pretty likely(4), i drink alot of coffee to wake up, so it could be a cyclical thing.